On Sep 14th of 2017, I gave birth to my second child, Maya. The birth was a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section) as well as a planned home delivery. It was a very special experience, as I think all births should be, but it wasn't without difficulties. I was going into this birth with more experience and better informed. Better informed because I had studied some and because midwives are less condescending to pregnant women/birthing
I was accompanied by my husband, Angelo, my mom, my Doula, Britney and two midwives, Heather and Gerry, plus their apprentice Andrea. Additionally my dad and my best friend were in the living room holding down the fort with my son Giulio (2 yo).
I was chilling with my strategy of Hypnobirthing until it became obvious that Maya was not moving smoothly down the birth canal. After she got past the cervix it should have been quick and easy but it was long and hard instead. I moved in and out of the birth pool, walked around, did some yoga, and ended up laying on my back on our king bed. At one point I was in the hallway and I whispered to Britney if there was any way to throw in the towel, I was ready to be cut up, I just wanted the baby out, I was so tired.. my body was exhausted.
In bed with my legs spread, I was in one of the most uncomfortable birthing positions (for which hospitals are criticized in the natural birthing world). I was blowing raspberries with my lips in pathetic attempts at pushing when a midwife told me "one last try and then we are transferring to the hospital, ok?". In that moment Britney moved up behind me, holding me between her legs with my back to her chest. She said "You made this baby with Angelo but you are having it with me!", that was her war cry. We gave it one last real push together and Maya was born! (At 9.11lbs)
That is the story as I remember it. Apparently I fell asleep instantly after. At some point Angelo cut the cord. I held Maya and fed her, and moments of extreme joy ensued. After I had come down from cloud 9 I looked around to see what things were like after the dust settled. I noticed Angelo had a yellow bruise on his chest, it turns out that had been me gripping him during the pushing. Apparently Maya had her arm folded up to her head and that is what made her decent out of me so difficult. I also realized that I was in debilitating pain and that the midwives were not able to prescribe pain medicine.
I didn't change Maya's diaper until she was several weeks old, I couldn't bathe her. I could hardly sit to feed her. I couldn't get up or walk without help, let alone make it to the bathroom. I started wearing adult diapers and it was one of the most demoralizing things imaginable. When we got Maya in to see her pediatrician she had lost 10% of her birth weight. We were all set into motion to rectify this in a hurry so she would not be put on formula. In fact my dad bought my a few 24 packs of Malta, the Cuban remedy for scarce breast milk. But the trouble was my pain that made me incapable of caring for her properly. When I got in to see a family doctor, he was shocked to see my pelvic bones had a 24mm separation.
At her next appointment, Maya was back to normal, having gained back all the weight she had lost and has been a healthy little human thus far. I am still in pain but recovering steadily. Most things were not as I had expected. Some things happened according to plans but yielded contrary results. I find no difficulty in *feeling ok* with all of it, because A. my child is healthy & B. the experience had me at the helm and not some on-call OB making decisions for me as if I was not of sound mind. I am satisfied and happy to have lived out the pentacle of womanhood by my own terms.
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